Covid19 and the burden of death

By Margaret Kamba

In Shona people say wafa wanaka and a whole lot of connotations come along with it. These range from the failure by the remaining to confront the true character of the dead with so many flowery eulogies spoken even of known thieves and murderers.

There is also that burden to the remaining spouse who must bear the pain and hurt of people that want to reap the maximum benefits at this time.

The one who has gone does not worry about how he or she will be buried. They have no worry about what coffin or blanket they will be buried in. When they breathe their last, the burden remains on those alive to make sure the dead gets a beffiting send off. It is a must because it is the right of the dead to be buried and buried well.

During this time some tend to steal the money sent to help out, by relatives abroad while if dowry was not paid for the late wife, the in-laws demand the settlement before the deceased is buried.

There is also that tendency of previously unsettled scores coming back to haunt the surviving spouse who must pay for transportation of a surviving parent who has held a grudge for so many years.

The burden of sending a messenger to alert the relatives which in Shona is called kuridza mhere may actually be bone by the one grieving a deceased spouse, which can rather be inhumane.

How much pain should one have to suffer all alone? There is a need to be strong for oneself and the children if any, even when these pressures are coupled with outside unnecessary pressures from relatives who only take for granted such situations to make extravagant demands, knowing very well the deceased was financially sound. The funny part is some of these demands are never made to those of a lower financial standing within the same family.

Where has humanity gone you ask me? One wonders, can the burial still not proceed without such relatives? Indeed it can and perhaps with far too many less hassles. But where do we draw the line and become human? What does it take to allow a grieving person the right to mourn in peace?

Covid19 has brought to us a rude awakening whether we like it or not. We are clearly burying our relatives alone when we were previously accustomed to having many neighbours, friends and relatives coming in to share in our grief.

We are coming face to face with the reality of not body viewing our dearly departed spouses, relatives and colleagues with a clear risk of burying a total stranger.

This reminds me of some liberation war narratives and accounts in which the surviving comrades would have to bury their counterparts after massacres by the Smith regime. They might have been in the same camp but unaware of that comrade and where they came from. The process was meant to ensure that some form of reverence was given to the deceased and that the vultures do not eat the departed gallant sons and daughters of Zimbabwe.

Imagine if this pandemic increased its force and there would be noone left to bury the other, what then? In other countries, we have seen corpses lying in the streets. We have seen many body bags left randomly at morgues because the rate at which people are dying is overwhelming.

It is as though covid19 has come to tell us death is no longer a thing to worry about. In the past, we as children never used to know anything about death because we were sent away if death knocked on the door, making it impossible to know someone in the family had died.

Then came the phase when our children would simply mutter, is he dead as if she or he is asking for ice-cream.

We previously never really used to prepare for death and then came the age where funeral policies meant someone could actually pick their own coffin before their death. The person could also determine how many tents, how many buses, food supply and even buy their own grave. Covid19 has literally come and somehow disrupted the use of buses because you risk spreading the virus cramped up.

What is it with covid19 when the person who you might have been speaking to the previous day is pronounced dead? Do we put culture first when dead bodies are piling up around us?

Fumigating premises has become the order of the day while sanitising, social distancing, working from home and wearing masks just to mention a few is the new normal.

You count yourself lucky if you have tested positive to covid19 and have overcome it. You worry and beat yourself up if you have not yet been tested and everyone around you has tested positive. The health officials have given guidelines such as social distancing, sanitising, washing of hands the right way frequently. Avoiding crowded places, going out only when necessary and quarantine. What does it help to escape from a quarantine centre and expose your family and loved ones?

The provision of adequate transportation by authorities will also go a long way in ensuring that overcrowding is avoided.

Many are using vehicles not designated to be ferrying people at this moment.

Fumigation of those vehicles is not being done and if by any chance it is done, are the chemicals being used to fumigate in the right quantities in order to kill the virus.

Many get into town to make money because to them they would rather die of the virus than of hunger. They must make money to pay rentals.

We are risking our lives and endangering innocent people in the process. Many are jumping borders to come back home but at what cost? What is the cost of life?

What is this new reality that we must face? To what must be awaken ourselves to? How do we get accustomed to it and yet remain ourselves? It is indeed a reality we are yet to understand.

Original Source: https://theenvoy.co.zw/covid19-and-the-burden-of-death-2/